Ellen DeGeneres is Destroying America

You know I once had a dog that was hit by a car, I once had a dog that was stolen and I even had a dog that you eat his own, well I think you got my drift. However, as far as I remember none of these cases ever made it to the newsroom let alone lead off news. Little Iggy or whatever the hell the mutt’s name is, it not lead farking news. Dumb shits, no I really mean it. Are news directors really ramming this down our subconscious?

Look Ellen, I am sorry you got a bad rap, but you have to realize that pet adoption will always end in tears. Either you have to get rid of the dog because it regurgitated on you pink shoes and you feel guilty, and break down. Alternatively, the little mutt dies, which to be blunt is dead certain.

I really wish this dog along with the story would have been run over.
I even heard this case subtitled Iggygate! Yea gee I see the resemblance to Watergate. The conviction of high-ranking government officials, resignation of a sitting United State President. Moreover, continuing mistrust of the Federal Government. And a dog called Iggy. Yea that is smart.